Don’t be afraid of your past. It may hold grief, pain, even trauma—but it is part of you. Facing it and releasing it doesn’t weaken you. It reveals your strength. It re-frames your future. And it reminds you just how powerful you truly are.
I recently took a stroll down memory lane—and it shook me to my core.
I went back to my old home.
It was a strange mix of trepidation and excitement. Cross Cottage, as it was called then, was once my dream home. Back in 1993, my ex-partner and I arrived with two little ones—just one and three years old—and another baby on the way. We imagined turning that run-down cottage into a warm family nest.
Dreams, adventures, projects—they were always at the heart of our relationship. But alongside them lived something darker: poor mental health and addiction, mine and his.
That dream home quickly became a nightmare. Harsh winters. No heating. Isolation. Endless arguments and breakups. Beauty all around us, but chaos within us. And on top of it all—we were just two very young parents, trying to raise three children under five with no money and no family support. My stubborn independence drove me to prove I could manage it all on my own, but the pressure only grew heavier.
Walking those grounds again brought everything back—the pain, the darkness, the people we lost to addiction. I remembered how powerless I felt back then, how sick I was in body and mind. That night I barely slept.
And in the morning, I broke. I sobbed until it felt like grief itself was leaving my body. It was raw, messy, overwhelming—but necessary. That release allowed me to finally let go. I left the pain there, where it belonged. Back then, when I first left, I had no time to process. I was in survival mode—packing the kids, running to London, heading to detox and then rehab.
Understanding family dynamics, your past, and how it is affecting your present is a key element in the Healing the Motherline programmes.
If you'd like further support in discovering, making peace, communicating, re-framing and rebuilding the life you want, check out the programmes available and contact me for a chat.
Online and in person courses are available.
Check out our available retreats
I can also work 1-1 or on a private retreat at Sedgebrook Hall (2 days). Contact me for details.
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