Is anger a friend or foe? Anger is an indicator that something is wrong, unacceptable or crossing a boundary. Expressing anger in a healthy way is important for emotional wellbeing.
As children we may not get the opportunity to express our anger as these feelings may be shut down by a dominant parent or a parent who we find ourselves tip toeing around to please as they may be emotionally unmanagable themselves. This will make it unsafe for us as children to express that we are angry.
Anger can brew over hours, days, months, years, and decades. You may be aware of the stimulus that's causing your anger, or perhaps it's something you've struggled with for many years.
It is very common for feelings and angry behaviours to manifest in our adulthood as a result of pain we are holding from childhood. It doesn't have to be directly from your parents, it could be a comment from a teacher at school, another child, or an influence in your life that you are now carrying with you that was wrong, unjust or unfair.
Anger is a powerful energy. When we feel inadequate to cope with our anger problems we stuff them down inside ourselves. Anger sits down there but does not stand still. It turns into physical and emotional problems, much worse than the original anger and manifest in emotions like anxiety and depression.
Anger is a healthy emotion, we need it in our lives, it tells us that something is wrong, unacceptable or crossing a boundary for us.
Expressing our anger in a healthy way is so important for emotional wellbeing.
This can involve healthy communication with the person who has crossed a boundary or doing something wrong. If this is not safe or feels that it will be unproductive then anger diaries can be a useful way to express this anger.
Alternatively talking to a friend or therapist who understands and allows you to express, does not get onto gossip treadmill with you, but helps you express and take responsibility for your anger can help.
Often underneath anger is another emotion such as sadness, grief, embarresment or hurt. Diaries can help you to explore this.
Anger diaries can be a really useful tool to log your anger, to give yourself permission to express it and to move into making it ok to be angry in your life. After all, we are all angry beings and anger is a healthy indicator that things are not ok in our lives.
Log your anger in the diary over a period of a few weeks.
1. Separate into columns of past, present and future
2. Add small irritations and bigger issues
3. Add any anger that you imagine or know your ancestors may have had.
You also might like to read my blog below to learn about other forms of journalling that can help you.
Read my Journaling blog HERE
FREE RESOURCES:
Read about Creating, communicating and enforcing healthy boundaries HERE
Watch my video about Journaling for positive mental health HERE
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