You don't have to forgive to move on. There are more ways to heal.
Forgiveness is another example of a 'should' societal expectation that may be put on you.
Consequently, you may have come to the belief yourself that you need to forgive to find peace. This is not always true.
Forgiveness is not the only way.
There are other things such as:
Forgiveness
Letting go
Acceptance
Moving on
Finding a middle ground
The most important thing is for you to find what works for you.
Here is a little exercise to help guide you to finding what works for you in different situations.
Give it a go:
Forgiveness
Letting go
Acceptance
Moving on
Finding a middle ground
Put the above list into a column with your favourite one (the one that feels most achievable and resonates the most) at the top, working down in do-ability.
In the next column score out of 10 how important it is to you to achieve this. 1=low importance, 10=high importance
In the next column write why it is this rating of importance.
In the next column write how likely it is for you to achieve this. 1=low likeliness, 10=high likeliness
In the next column write why you have given it this rating of likeliness.
In the next column write down any blocks that you may encounter.
In the next column write down actions you can take to overcome these blocks.
In the final column write any other actions that you can take.
Below are a few ideas to help you think about other ways you may like to try:
Suggested actions:
Cutting Cords Meditation
Minimise contact
Have a conversation
Write a letter, can be a no send letter
Speak to another family member about it (sometimes talking to allies who also feel the same way as you can be helpful and affirming)
Focus on your life (make stronger friendships and bonds in your personal life that are affirming)
Focus on yourself
Discover new things you enjoy
See a therapist
Join a family constellation
The Mother Solution courses guides you through moving on from difficulties with your mother and finding peace with boundaries, forgiveness, resentments and acceptance.
Find out more about it below
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