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In May 2018 I had a contact in my email inbox from Nadine. She wanted to join one of the Crystal Clear Anxiety and Depression recovery retreats 
Nadine had been struggling for a while with depression. She had lost her zest for life, her ability to be happy and laugh with her family. She said to me “I just want to be able to laugh with my son and husband again” 
This is her story ... 

Nadine's Story 

“My years in Africa consisted of having a stroke at the age of 5 leading to temporary paralysis, being bullied at primary school by a torturous horrid girl, growing up through the violence of apartheid, attending a funeral for the first time for a friend who had been murdered and then raped aged 14, having a volatile relationship with my mother, having a verbally abusive partner who turned out to be a drug addict, losing many close loved ones to car accidents (including my best friend and a man I was going to marry), being held up at gun point, marrying a total mind controlling eejit….the list goes on. 
Fast forward to my life in the UK… I met the most amazing man for me 9 years ago, he is sent directly from my angels, no doubt about it. But when our son was born 8 years ago, I found it difficult to cope and I discovered I had PND (post-natal depression), which lasted on and off for about 3 years. I loved my son and I was a good mother, doing all the motions and necessary tasks to keep him alive and well, but it took me that long to fall in love with him. All these new mothers tell you how amazing life is and they were incomplete before this little bundle came along, and I was thinking “What have I done?! This is the worst thing I could have ever imagined!” But I came through the other side after being prescribed antidepressants and he is very precious to me, although I do still sometimes think – “just give me 5 minutes of bloody peace will you!” Ok, so I actually do ask him for 5 minutes but with no cussing! 
Then a couple of years ago, sort of out of the blue, I was diagnosed with mild depression (which was a bit of a surprise to me as I didn’t feel it) and mild anxiety (no surprise!) and I was directed towards a group CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy) course and put back onto antidepressants, which I was really reluctant about as I saw it as going backwards after recovering from PND. The doctor reassured me by stating the fact that this is a chemical imbalance of the brain. If you had diabetes wouldn’t you take insulin for it? It helped for a while, or so I thought. What it was actually doing was just festering and bubbling below the surface until it proper exploded last May. I thought it quite genius to have chosen mental health awareness month to proper let rip! At this point my brain had just given up and said “Stop this bus I wanna get off now!” I was re-diagnosed with severe anxiety and severe depression, which is one step away from the point of no return. 

“Stop this bus I wanna get off now!” 

I had to take time off work and my social interaction shut down. I was a jittering mess, could hardly string a sentence together and found it hard to even leave the house. My meds were increased, and I managed to find a retreat which offered group therapy, counselling, yoga, and ongoing skype support for the next 6 months. It changed my life and I credit Vanessa at Crystal Clear Coaching with being here today. I was put onto a waiting list for one to one counselling with Mind Matters (you can self-refer on the website), but it took about 6 months to be seen which tied in nicely with my retreat counselling coming to an end. I had a staggered return to work a month later and thanks to the support and understanding from my managers, HR, my AMAZING team and irreplaceable friends, I made it through into the light. It’s a cliché but I couldn’t have made it without them. 
I found myself in a very low state of mind. I was couch bound for a few days in a thick haze of darkness, in a black hole. I didn't want to get up, but I couldn't manage to even if I tried. I felt like a lead weight. There was no specific reason, rather a series of little things. I was so unhappy and all I wanted to do was laugh with my family again. After allowing myself a little wallow in self-pity, I somehow found the urge to want to get up and feel better, for my family, for me. I began to desperately search for a retreat as I felt I needed to be away from home surrounded by people who could help me. 
As if by magic I found Crystal Clear online 4 days before the anxiety and depression retreat. I wasn't sure at first due to the cost and the big step out of the comfort zone and into the unknown. Vanessa called me to find out a bit more about me and to chat me through everything.  
Her manner was so warm and at ease, and her eyes were so kind that I felt the draw to go, scary or not. I took the plunge and it was the best thing I could have done. Vanessa, JJ and Neil changed my life. Together with the small group in attendance, we found our value in life and a purpose to work towards. It's not easy, but they supplied us with the tools to maintain a healthy balanced mind with a few daily changes which made the dark cloud slowly lift” 

“You have to put the work in and row the boat, but Vanessa makes  an excellent captain and steers you in the right direction”  

Nadine now runs her own craft stall that is themed by her journey of recovery and is called ‘into the light” 
A Crystal Clear Anxiety and Depression Recovery retreat is not a walk in the park and is not your average spa retreat where you are pampered all weekend. This retreat is for people who want to make changes in their lives and are willing to put some work into that. Of course, it is supportive, that goes without saying but it is all about taking responsibility for your life, accepting help and moving forward. 
We Empower, Enrich and Engage with our clients. 
We help them to feel in control of their lives again and confident in themselves. 
Click HERE if you would like to know more about the 3-day retreats, or book a call with me to discuss whether this is the right option for you. 
Sending you healing wishes, 
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