Is putting everyone else’s needs first beginning to really drain you?Does every day feel like the same old burden?Do you feel that life was not supposed to be like this and wish for something more?
The longer you stay in this state, the worse you’ll feel. Vanessa Wallace often works with mid-life women who have been experiencing anxiety and depression for years – caring for others but neglecting themselves. The cumulative effect over time is huge.
Vanessa believes that we all deserve to be happy, to be free of negative thoughts, anxiety and depression.
And no matter how bleak the starting point, she helps her clients work towards the life they want.
Vanessa has had her own periods of depression, anxiety and addiction which ultimately led her to train as a Cognitive Behaviour Therapist and set up Crystal Clear Coaching after many years of working in mental health institutions. She specialises in helping those for whom hope is out of grasp. She learned how to get results fast when working in mental health services and has used that, along with her personal experience and knowledge of mindfulness and self acceptance, to create the REBEL method, which will give you:
Peace of mind
Control over your anxiety
Acceptance of who you are and the journey you’ve taken
Hope and excitement for the future
However, as with any journey, you have to take that first step; look at your old self, understand it, accept it and change it. REBEL.
The Rebel Method Reviews
"This is a comprehensive book written with clarity and conciseness. The REBEL method in my opinion makes perfect sense and is a useful and valuable tool to guide and help those struggling with anxiety and overwhelm"
Paula
"I wholeheartedly recommend Vanessa’s Rebel method to anyone who feels that life has nothing to offer them. Her way of working with you to bring out the worthiness in you and show you a way to reshape your life is quite remarkable.
This book is written in Vanessa’s logical and empathetic style and you cannot fail to understand that she cares deeply about her work."
Julia
"Vanessa's book is amazing for so many reasons. The book is easy-to-read, her writing style so natural, that it immediately reassures. Vanessa's warmth, compassion and positivity just ooze from every page. Her rebel method making total sense - with clear supported steps to follow and associated material and exercises. Her honesty about her own experiences was an added bonus, as were the case studies. I could recognise myself in parts of each of them.
I have been fortunate to attend one of Vanessa's retreats, to meet her in person, and work with her for a little while. Vanessa is as genuine in real life as she comes across in her book. Her Rebel Method allowed me to understand who I am by myself, who I want to be, and what I need to do to be that person. Not a quick fix, nor an easy journey at times. But with Vanessa's support I can honestly say I have never been happier or truer to myself. I accept who I am, and the very harsh inner critic is now a well-managed tiny voice that I manage in a positive way.
For me one of the main positives of Vanessa's approach and style is her belief that we are all individuals. She does not dictate to you in any way how you should be, or what your values should be. No long-winded scientific explanations. No unrealistic aspirations to be "perfect". Her method is a tried-and-tested toolkit to help you discover these things about yourself by yourself. Vanessa listened, but showed me what happened when I listened to myself, to allow my voice to be heard, and to work towards my own dreams, that I am valued, that I am more than good enough, and that it is OK for me to be me. I am so grateful to be a rebel. Thank you Vanessa x"
Karen
"I gulped this book down initially almost in one sitting! It feels like it was written specifically for me and I know that so many others will feel the same as they read it. Vanessa’s voice is soothing and reassuring and I feel her encouraging me on every page.
In my attempts to understand what has been happening to me I have read many self help books but this one feels very different.
It is comforting and accessible from the very first page.
I can finally see my path to the life I want to be living laid out simply before me in manageable steps.
The QR code to the worksheets and resources is a great idea and very easy to use. No need for any apps just point your phone’s camera st the code and click on the link that immediately opens up. It’s so much better than seeing blank worksheet pages within the body of the book in the way most such books do which are intimidating and pressurising.
I have already gone back to the start of the book and worked my way through the first couple of exercises and am now reflecting on what I have already learnt and looking forward to working properly through the next chapter.
The Rebel Method is a gift that needs to be shared widely. I can already think of several friends who I know will be so delighted to receive their own copies. They will need their own to highlight key passages, scribble notes on and keep them company on their journey to healing - just as I already am. I’m not sharing mine that’s for sure!
Let Vanessa support you too and see how simply and effectively her words can help you can transform your life."
Liney
"I read your book and I found it brilliant - getting rid of the negativity in my brain is the one thing I struggle with and your book is helping me a lot - I am just about to start reading it again"
Tina
"There is so much useful information I don't know where to start/ I simply love the idea of the cups of life versus the wheel of life. The little picture of the butterfly is a great reminder of how we transform using the rebel method. I too am a coach and I often am so hard on myself that I needed to be reminded of the inner critic and that I am enough. Lots of useful information and thoughtful on how to notice the inner critic and how to lovingly embrace it and let it go. Great thought provoking exercises well written. Bravo Vanessa. Ps I've been to one of her retreats after mom passed. I was full of doubt depression guilt and grief. I learned so much."
Paolina
There is a journey in recovering from anxiety and depression that you and I can go on together using something known as the REBEL method of recovery. This involves lots of different methods that I use in my work with clients and it can be a framework of support for you to help you feel, live and be better.
This method can be very transformational, and it is used on my retreat programmes, my one on one sessions, and on the cognitive behavioural therapy and mindfulness two-week courses.
Remove The Inner Critic
And this is all about removing the inner critic. There is a reason that this is the 1st point and it is very important. If there is a constant inner critical voice shouting every time you try to do something, it is very difficult to move forward. Whilst we do need to remove this inner critic, it is not possible to completely remove it as it has been integral to our survival. It has been there for many years and reminds us to be careful and mindful of our behaviour however it has just gone overboard and we need to form a better relationship with it to move forward.
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A good relationship is actually what is needed to grow and when the inner critic tells you that you will fail or are not worthy of something, it can be helpful to talk back and tell it that it isn’t being helpful and that these things are not true! It can be useful to have something like a figurine or statue or toy next to your desk and use it as something to embody the critical voice and gives you something physical to talk to.
We need to remove the inner critic and to do this it helps to know why it is there. This can be achieved in a few ways. Sometimes through inner-child work. The inner critic can come from messages received from caregivers when we are growing up. Look at these messages to find out what is true or false and unhelpful. Another great tool is self-compassion and understanding why we can have this overly critical view of ourselves and working towards being kinder and treating ourselves better. This is not just about how we talk to or feel about ourselves; it is also about our behaviours. This ties in with cognitive behavioural therapy practices and what I practice which is rational emotive behavioural therapy. Sometimes it can be difficult to treat yourself as you should, and it can take practice to learn to treat yourself to things you deserve. It is not selfish to be self-compassionate and you should treat yourself as you would treat a loved one!
Educate About The Mind
You can educate yourself to understand how your brain works. There is a lot of science and psychology to be learned about how your brain operates. Your brain is working on the basis of what it is being fed and quite often this can be what we do not need. When we want to change the narrative of our lives and learn new methods of coping, the brain can resist as it has had possibly years of unhelpful conditioning and much like a computer has been programmed in a certain way. There is also the case of the amygdala which can become hardwired with ptsd and trauma. Trauma levels can affect people differently and what may seem small to some will not be to others. The point is that the trauma still hardwires the brain. The brain is doing its own thing as a survival mechanism but there are methods and ways in which you can work on this and make changes. Being mindful of what is happening and gaining awareness by talking through what is happening with you, how you behave in certain situations, how you feel, and maybe what your triggers are, is all part of educating yourself to what is going on in the brain.
Be Yourself
People often say to me ‘I just don’t know who I am’ or ‘I want to get back to the person that I was’ Or people are looking to discover who they are. There are methods to help with this. One such method is looking at our values. How often are we living against our values? Perhaps you are a people pleaser or a perfectionist or in a relationship that isn’t really working. This means that you will be going against your values and it can be easy to push our personal values to the side. It is helpful to look at your wants, needs and desires and see how they tie in with you and if they are realistic. On my 12-week course we take part in guided meditations and collages centred around these ideas which are very helpful and enlightening and often leave people making fantastic important changes in their lives. Making even sometimes small changes can bring yourself into alignment and gives you the ability to truly be your best self!
Eliminate Anxiety and Depression
In my personal life I have come a long way in removing these! Sometimes depression can pop back up as these are difficult things to be fully rid of, however, I have rid myself of the anxiety and depression of not living my life authentically and living up to who I think I could be. I have achieved this thanks to the REBEL method that is being explained. I feel that I am living my purpose, and this is great for eliminating anxiety and depression. Practices such as those taught in cognitive behavioural therapy are truly helpful, however, if you are not living authentically close to your purpose you will still suffer from anxieties. This can take time and involves a lot of self-reflection but is really possible and worth the work!
Live The Life You Dream Of
Sometimes this can be big changes and sometimes it can be to just have more peace of mind. Looking back over these steps and goals can help you figure out what you want and need to live a better life. With this you can understand yourself more and realise that you can actually build hope for the future where previously you may have had none. Sometimes life can deal us some huge blows and turn out not how you wanted or imagined it would, However, there are ways to come to terms with this. You can come to terms with who you are and what you need in your life and make it the best possible life that you could want or need at this point. Disappointments can happen but it is possible to rebuild your dreams or build a different dream. Our dreams and goals do not have to be fixed and can be flexible and sometimes we must adapt. In many cases you may have to adjust your dreams as they are not currently feasible. It is the battling against something which cannot happen that can create real stress anxiety and depression.
Ready to Begin?
There is a lot of work to be done around all of these REBEL steps and if you are willing you can really alleviate symptoms of depression and anxiety even if you choose to just work on one step. I truly believe in these steps and absolutely believe in their effectiveness to help you to live true to your purpose and gain a better, meaningful life for yourself.
IF you are ready to be helped, email me at vanessa@crystalclearcoaching.org
or schedule a call.
Purchase your copy of The Rebel Method Book by Vanessa Wallace
